Fuel economy

I was driving into the city yesterday and saw one of these Smart Cars built by Mercedes and man are they small. As you can see by my scientific image above, the Smart Car is as high as 0.718 Gary Colemans. Oddly, right behind it was a Toyota Prius. Man, all these people in their super fuel efficient cars. I was feeling a bit of envy. But honestly, I don't think I would want to be seen driving in a Smart or a Prius. I just don't want to compromise THAT much car. I did a bit of poking around and found some interesting MPG facts.

The Smart Car, in real world use gets about 40 mpg which is pretty nice. You'd expect that from a car that is so tiny with a top speed of about 90 mph. The Prius gets about 45 mpg, and is a bit larger so more practical in my opinion. My BMW 323i sadly gets about 25 mpg. So in the US, these hybrids and mini cars seem to be great when it comes to fuel economy.

Now, we don't use diesel in our cars here, but abroad it does seem to be more common. Diesels are an issue here mostly because of the emission problems. But most of those concerns were 20 years old and solutions have been found by now. So here's the thing. If I purchase a BMW 520d (diesel), which is a much nicer looking and a better performing car than any hybrid or shoe sized car, you get 41 mpg. A Honda Accord diesel gets 52 mpg and a Volkswagen Polo gets 60 mpg conservatively. The somewhat smaller companion, the Volkswagen Lupo gets almost 80 mpg. And none of these cars look gay. Unless we're going to introduce pure electric cars at reasonable prices any time soon, my next car will be a diesel. From a mpg standpoint, it just doesn't make sense to purchase a hybrid. So suck it Leonardo DiCaprio. If you really cared about the environment, you'd be driving around in a monumentally more efficient Lupo.

And screw you Ford and GM for pushing crap cars out for all of eternity. I hope you do flounder and go out of business, because I'm sick and tired of my tax dollars being used to bail-out your cruddy asses for poor business practices and no vision. Goes for you too American Airlines.

Note to girls

When asking a guy "what looks better?" between the cute short dress, or the cute long dress... short dress ALWAYS wins. Now whether or not it's appropriate for visiting the grandparents is a totally separate and in my mind, irrelevant matter.

July 4th

Just got home from seeing our local fireworks display in Manatawny Park. My oldest enjoyed the show while little Katherine took some coaxing to wake her up. Once she was up though boy, she was thoroughly... un-impressed. Not even the loud booms that followed the explosions impressed her much. I think she'd rather have gone back to sleep.

Funny hair

So, I'm in the conference room and there is this woman with one of these hair dews with the round bun on top. So picture a snowman with only 2 spheres... made of hair. Well, she was sitting at an angle where, every time I saw her from the corner of my eye it looked like someone was standing in the doorway. And every time I looked at the doorway, I realized it was just her hair. Good thing she didn't dress her hair dew with a little tiny suit, or else you would think there was a little man on her head all day.

Why, why, why

Things you should never ask me if you are a graphic artist:

"So, I printed these invitations out, but some are on glossy and some on just the 20# paper. I guess the glossy was mixed in the tray. Can I just leave it? Does it matter?"

Ok, a few things wrong with that question.

1. Check your trays before printing you moron.
   
2. NO IT IS NOT OK TO HAVE DIFFERENT PAPER STOCK FOR THE SAME INVITE.
   
3. As a graphic artist you shouldn't have even asked me. You should have just quietly redone the job properly.

"I don't think it's right that they expect us to turn around the requests in the same day. These changes should be done next day, or at least plan a day ahead."

1. Tell our client that. I'm sure Coke will be super impressed with your answer.
   
2. Are you f*cking with me? I may go through multiple changes of said project in the same day. Are you slow in the head?

Ahh, the quiet little warning signs of failure. This kind of thing may seem adorable on a cute girl. Honestly, if you were a girl and had asked me these questions I may have just petted you on the head. Coming from a 6 foot dude that looks like Clay Aiken "with experience"... not so endearing.

Wow, just wow

Ok, I've been meaning to comment on this for a while, but couldn't get my thoughts around it... was really confusing.

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. If you don't know who she is, stop reading and immediately leave this site. For everyone else that's been exposed, I'm told in time you're vision will return (keep the faith.) So for those that may not have seen this amazing Tolstoy come to life and refuse to leave this page, let me explain. It's about a poor retarded girl who also suffers from that disease that makes you a whore (I forget the medical term.) She's surrounded by medical attendees from the Johns Hopkins University of desperate. And if you watch this for any extended amount of time 3 things may happen to you.

1. You are ashamed, which means you don't like taking pictures against a wet metal pole.
   
2. You are angry, because you can't find the remote to change the f*cking channel.
   
3. You will die.
   

I'm a fan of blithering television like the next person, but this takes it to the next level. It's like the ultimate train wreck that you just can't avert your eyes from.

More often than not, this is the programming I'll come across while flipping the channels. It's a bit sad. Last Saturday I ended up watching a show called Sheer Genius. It was about cutting hair, or styling hair. I watched this because in my 200+ channels of DirectTV, this was the most interesting program at the moment. F*ck me.

I think television these days is just a big retarded person on a street corner standing on a flaming box waving his hands back and forth with huge sausages in each hand yelling "I'm pretty! I'm pretty!" While Dick Cheney and company does whatever they want.

I have to say... this somewhat annoys me. It's like a decoy for the masses so you won't know what's happening around you. For instance, today we approved $162 billion dollars to fund the war in Iraq. Mind you, this is still listed under wartime funding and not victory funding... remember the "Mission Accomplished" banner on the USS Abraham Lincoln? Didn't realize the banner was about his morning bowel movement did you? Oh, and a Nimitz class carrier runs around $4.5 billion dollars, and we currently operate 12 carrier battle groups. On the flip side we approved $400 million dollars for new medical and energy research. $400 million, what, that's like Bill Gates mad money. Then we approved $210 million "to address the cost overruns in the 2010 census"... what? We're spending an additional $210 million to figure out why we're spending too much? The GAO (Government Accountability Office) said in a recent audit that, in the time we have given Pakistan $6 billion to pursue terrorists, there has been no proof that the money has been used to such effect. We're talking about a country that has the governmental annual budget of around $22 billion. WTF did they just spend $6 billion on if not terrorist hunting? Oh and by the way, before we bombed the crap out of Iraq they were pumping out 1.67 million barrels of oil per day. We're begging OPEC to increase output by an additional 2 million barrels a day... they've agreed to 10% of that figure. Now we're threatening Iran, who pumps out 4.15 million barrels a day (pre-bombing.) And while we're spending like mad, the House has approved a budget that will (hopefully) see a $22 billion surplus by the year 2012. $22 billion. That's just pitiful. I mean, that makes us the future Pakistan.

Thanks Tila Tequila... you blithering piece of crumpled metal on the Turnpike.

Baby showers r' us

Went to a nice baby shower yesterday with the family. Have to say, it was different from what I had expected. There was gift giving and cheer, and not at all like the 5 hour discussion on "female issues" as I had pictured in my head. My oldest one had fun with the other little girls at the party. In fact, she really liked them. On the drive home she asked if they were going to have another baby soon so she could go back and play at another baby shower. The baby was unusually quiet for the whole event. But as predicted, as soon as we got through the door at home... waaaaaah. Good boy Brian.

The best part about the party was near the end when we had cake... and no one noticed the little cream puffs and mini eclairs what were set out. I pretty much skipped dinner that night having my full of chilled puffy little treats... and there was beer! Ah, the perfect party.

Oh, and there was also a story about how "productive" someone could have been by implementing some slapping and typing, but I'll save that for another post :)