Cockmeat champion

OK, still a bit on the subject of douches... or in this case, just a plain old monster. So Israel did a prisoner exchange this week. They wanted back two of their fallen soldiers. In exchange, they handed over five Lebanese prisoners and about 200 bodies. Yeah, that's a lot of bodies. But people are mostly outraged over this winner below, and mind you, this is the happiest picture I could find:


Samir Kantar (cockmeat eating champ for all time), pictured right with his buddies, and oh so happy. Anyways, he's free now. He was in an Israeli prison for killing a police officer, a father and daughter of four. He shot the father and made the little girl watch, then killed her by smashing her head in with the butt of his rifle and a rock. The mother who was hiding tried to keep her two year old from crying and giving away their location, accidentally smothered her own child. The mother is the sole survivor of that night. Samir, you look like a monster and you are a monster. Way to make your mother proud.

Middle East... what the f*ck is wrong with you? Why do you consistently blanket my airwaves with these horrible, miserable, idiotic, in-human stories of just complete mind-blowing craziness? Is there any way that we can at this point just sever you from the rest of the human race, because it's clear to me that you're not going to make it anyways. I feel like investing in the Middle East is like buying a Pinto. No matter how much effort and money you pour into it, in the end it's just going to explode.

Another item. I think my standing policy now is to just stay away from people that look like psychos... because if the news channels are any indication, they probably are a psycho.

Worlds not so greatest dad

OK, just had to share this one because the irony is just so comical. Guy was arrested in a child sex sting looking like this:



Man, these child sex offenders always look like champs, don't they? High five dude! Way to be a douche.

Useless

Do you ever get one of those people that work with you and are just clearly lazy. You know, those people that always ask you a question in hopes that your answer will align with their desire to do less work or none.

I have one... and he's really pissing me off.

In fact, I'm borderline on just letting this asshat go if it wasn't for the fact that he just makes me look super awesome in comparison.

I'm not saying you should be chugging along all 8 hours of your work day non-stop. People take breaks, they browse, they do personal errands. Honestly I don't f*cking care as long as you would at least get your crap done. Hell, I'm blogging right now from work, but at the end of the day no matter how many deadlines I have, they will be done. I'm not going to avoid them, or shove my workload onto someone else.

There used to be this absolutely horrid girl that worked here. She would send me a request for something at 4:50 in the day, and jet at 5. She would come by my office at 4:55 and ask if I got her mail from earlier today. She would then claim she sent it in the afternoon. I can check all timestamps on the mail server you stupid wh*re... you sent it at 4:50. She is one of the most useless, lazy, cocaine snorting, disgusting, wasteful things on two legs I have met thus far. How she has survived life is an absolute anomaly.

Then there's the stupid moron that would go on vacation and not alert anyone of the status of their jobs. Mostly because they were all in shambles. And these are the assholes with "many accomplished years" of experience in the field. Useless. Absolutely useless. Go find yourself a railroad and lie down, because you're useless.

We've even had someone throw their company BlackBerry at a wall in frustration because they couldn't handle the stress of the job. What stress?! You had one job to look over, and you f*cked that up so much we lost the client! She apparently had accumulated 30+ years of experience in Useless. Probably graduated Cuma Lum Crybaby.

If our economy is run any longer by similarly experienced people... I'm moving to Mongolia. No, better yet, THEY should move to Mongolia, then the Mongolians can jeer at how useless they are.

No more food

Ugh... made the mistake of making 2 hamburgers on Saturday... and eating them one after the other. I haven't felt right since. No more burgers. In fact, they have doughnuts and other snacks in the break-room today. I'd usually pounce on them, but not today... not this week.

Morning cookie

So recently, we got one of those soda vending machines. It's been here for about 3 weeks and already it's out of Mountain Dew. Useless.

But I got a little surprise on the nearby table. Sometimes snacks will be left for all to share, and this morning it was a bag of Famous Amos Cookies.



By far, they have to be my favorite cookies. I like the dry cookies. I don't really care much for the- out of the oven freshness moist cookies. I like my cookies like hockey pucks... not sure why, but always have. Had to get a pathetic Ginger Ale to wash down my spectacular cookies.

iPhone Super Monkey Ball

Now I've owned my fair share of consoles and hand held game devices over the years. Most of them were pretty decent, like the Nintendo DS Lite and Sony PSP. While the DS had a slew of fun games, the PSP was able to push out much better graphics. In fact, the PSP is like having a portable PS2 in your hands. I wasn't expecting the same level of graphics or speed that the dedicated game devices were capable of. I am pleased to find that I was wrong. Ohhh Super Monkey Ball, you are fun to play. I'd say the iPhone is almost on par with the Nintendo DS. With Super Monkey Ball, you need to tilt the playing field to move the monkey around. The sensors on the iPhone are amazingly sensitive. It was actually very easy to make minute adjustments. It was almost like having a flat board in your hand, and moving a marble around on top of it. It felt that good. So, pretty excited so far into my first foray into the iPhone games downloads. Damn you Apple for figuring out more ways for me to part with my money.

UPDATE:
"Sung" just played a few games, and killed many monkeys. You'd think he'd want to save as many monkeys as he could. Bad Sung! Bad!

iPhone 2.0 day

Updating my iPhone to the 2.0 OS now. I have already updated iTunes and peaked around in the App Store. So far so good. There seems to be a good amount of useful software out there. Looks like most of the things people complained about the iPhone have been addressed by third party software makers. Very smart of Apple. Not only do they get 30% of the revenue on any app sold on iTunes... they saved their own development costs by letting the open market fill the gaps. Then they have quality assured those apps before they even allow them onto their marketplace... the only place to get software for the iPhone. I have to say, Steve Jobs is a very savvy business man.

A lot of these applications pretty much turn the iPhone into a real PDA... and potentially with the development of software, the best one on the market. If you have stock in RIM, I'd suggest you sell it now... maybe use the money to buy Apple stock, or oil futures.

UPDATE:
I have a bricked iPhone. Apparently when you update to the new 2.0 Firmware, the phone still needs to contact the authentication servers at Apple through iTunes. Well, those servers are currently flooded and you can't get a connection. So I have a paperweight until I can connect. Hate being without a phone :(

UPDATE:
Success! Have updated the phone to 2.0. But now I can't seem to sync with iTunes to get my stuff back onto the phone. Oh well, minor issue. At least the iPhone is usable again. Will try to get an app on their later if I feel lucky.